Razing Expectations Part 2
Last week, I opened a conversation about starting life over from ground zero, something almost nobody asks to experience (Click to read). Despite the emotional, mental, and physical devastation, when we endure the rebuilding process, we encounter a potential to experience great reward—if we persevere and do not give up.
In the previous post, I introduced two visions I received from the Lord. The one for this week was sparked by an assignment.
A few years ago, on a cold day in February, our counselor told us to go home and “Ask God to show you your life spiritually as it is today.” Basically, ask for an image that depicts our present condition. I personally think she also wanted to find out who possessed self-awareness, who walked around wearing a façade, and who lived in denial.
That week, I faithfully did my homework. To stir up my own mental pictures or images for something like this is all but impossible. Even when I paint, I have to use someone else’s visual because I can’t imagine my own, as some artists can. So I knew the Lord was speaking when a complete image immediately popped into my mind:
A woman in a plain brown dress, sitting in the middle of the floor and surrounded by a thousand unidentifiable shards. A few of these pieces resembled colored glass, and seashells …
The pieces
As I “studied” this vision, I acknowledged the woman’s look of devastation and I physically felt her shock and hopelessness. Yep, that was me.
Life was so shattered that very little was recognizable. Each fragment that was once part of a bigger work of art was now like a tiny brick from a giant Lego castle that had been dismantled and strewn across the room by a toddler. (I’m thankful it wasn’t a dismantled sandcastle with the grains of sand scattered across a beach.)
I asked Holy Spirit to reveal His meaning behind certain elements. Plain and brown revealed humility without selfish ambition (James 3:16). The wooden floor reflected the work of man (God was not the cause of this problem.).
“God, pick up the pieces.
Put me back together again.
You are my praise!”
Jeremiah 17:14 (The Message)
The healing
After several months of counseling and letting God heal soul wounds, I revisited this vision. I asked, “Where is she now?”
The closing vision of the original was beautiful. Although not a sign that everything was completely finished, it was a prophetic hint of how God would eventually take what the enemy intended for evil and turn it into good and use my tragedy for His kingdom purpose.
Still wearing an unadorned brown dress, the woman now stood strong in the middle of the floor holding a small rectangular jewelry box with a hingeless lid. The floor was clear of every shattered fragment, a sight that disturbed me at first! (Oh my gosh, where has my life gone?!) But then I looked closer at the box. It was artistically decorated with some of the pieces—-from ashes to unpretentious beauty. The past was not to be hidden but prudently used as a testimony of the healing Jesus brought.
“And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb
and by their testimony.
And they did not love their lives so much
that they were afraid to die.”
Revelation 12:11 (NLT)
The impartation
The real treasure was inside the box. At the time, I was not allowed to lift the lid, for it was not yet my hour. From the healing I’d received after all the painful soul surgery, I would (eventually) have gifts of great hope and deep healing to impart to women who were on the verge of starting their lives over and feeling as if it were the end of the world. God not only intended me to take back the land the enemy thought he owned, but to conquer far more territory. “The thief, when caught, must pay back sevenfold…”
Friend, are you starting over? Embrace every step of this journey. Your healing is never subject to someone else’s timeline or expectations.
Have you lost pieces of yourself? The Father in heaven knows exactly where you are. All of you.
Ask our Father in Heaven for a vision that will speak to your heart. Remember, the Father of lights always gives good and perfect gifts.
Do not fear dying to self, for that’s when you will find your true life in Christ. He will raise you up higher than before.
His arms are open to you, and His abundance awaits you.
NEXT WEEK: Part Three, and the vision of the Rubik’s Cube.
