Karma vs Grace in Marriage

LAST YEAR, I participated in a marriage class that took a unique approach to relationships, in a good way. One section opened my understanding about the “spirit” I’m following if my life is not centered completely on Him.

THIS YEAR, my nephew is getting married! I rejoice with him and his family. And if there’s one ‘gift’ I could give them out of a treasure chest full of wisdom gathered over the past 30 years, it would be an understanding of living a life completely centered on Someone other than self or spouse.

What Belief System is Active in Your Daily life?

KARMA: The good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something: I’m out of here. This place has bad karma. (online dictionary)

GRACE (verb): The empowering presence of God that enables a person to live out of love, not according to their needs. Given to the humble; elusive to the proud. My feelings say to ‘withhold,’ but grace empowers me to give anyway. [different from the (noun) grace that saves]

OPPOSING MINDSETS (One will kill a marriage)

DECEIVED Self (karma)                                                          TRUE Self (grace)

Self improvement……………………..vs. …………..Self removement (more of Christ)

Imitation ………………………………..vs……………Participation (with the Holy Spirit)          

Strength…………………………………vs……………Weakness

Be right like god ………………………….vs. ………….Righteousness is from God

Egocentric………………………………..vs…………..Loves others

Tries to become what it’s not………….vs………….Identity transplant (renewed, healthy sense of “I”)

What can I get?………………………….vs. …………What can I give?

Dresses to look good…………………..vs…………….Long for people to see God in me

Seeks possessions/security/status….vs…………..Apart from God, I am/have nothing

What can I do to be liked?……………vs. ………….I already know I am loved!

Creates own image and has to defend it….vs…….Recognizes she’s created in image of God

Gets defensive…………………………..vs………….Secure! No need to defend

Lives a requirement-based life………..vs. …………Free from requirements (no law against love)

Tries to “be good”………………………..vs. …………Knows only God is good

Says prayers (religious)…………………vs. ………..Life is a prayer (recognizes desperation for God)

Tries to be like God……………………….vs. ……….Walks with God

Avoids failure……………………………….vs.……….Unsurprised at own failure

Control freak………………………………..vs. ………Letting go to gain control

Eccentric; off center……..vs. ….Understands there is a center beyond me; releases pride & ego

Wants answers to know what to do……vs.…..Seeks the right question to ask (God’s perspective)

Needs more of what does not work (sex/money/power)…vs.…Needs less and less; content from within

(Reread definition of karma)

AS MY NEPHEW and his new wife embark on the most fabulous and blessed adventure of their lives, I pray they will press into God’s great and enduring love. Allowing God’s love to overflow in them will free them to love each other without strings attached and without fearing ‘consequences’ as they choose to give their all, expecting nothing in return.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first. I John 4:18-19

The Way of the Embattled Spirit