A Manicured Soul

Does God Like to Garden?

Neglect your yard and it will reward you with an overgrowth of weeds. Or turn brown. My gardening skills are, well, lacking. Several years ago, while accompanying a landscape management guy on a tour of the immaculate lawn surrounding our new Ohio home, I promptly confessed, “Sorry, I have a black thumb when it comes to gardening.” Trailing behind us, my 12-year-old daughter loudly announced, “Mom, you don’t even have a thumb!”

True story. Two opposing digits and neither are garden friendly. If I didn’t hire help, my neglect would soon manifest in dandelions and crabgrass. (Today, even my silk flowers are wary of me.)

Plants are one thing. But what about neglecting a human soul?

The Neglected Relationship
We hear a lot about emotionally neglected children. But what about adults, spouses in particular? Just because there’s far less literature out there about it, that does not make it less important to our Father in heaven — that would be a big, fat lie.

Years of built-up emotional neglect in a marriage relationship damages the garden of her heart.

I’ve had the privilege of encouraging wives whose souls have been eroded by emotional neglect, turning the garden of their hearts into a dry wasteland. I get it. Sadly, some of these wastelands decayed into a boneyard. (This can happen on both sides, yes, but this blog focuses on wives ‘cuz I’m not a guy. Nothing personal.)

Along with my own experience, my conversations with women who’ve suffered from neglect prove one sure thing — God is a great and compassionate Gardener. Nothing is too difficult for Him to restore and beautify.

The Unfolding Vision
Many months ago, during an intense season of healing, I was working through a vision the Lord was unfolding while on a walk. I crossed from one neighborhood lined with semi-shabby front yards into one accented with beautifully manicured lawns. In the first neighborhood, the Lord had drawn my attention to the overgrowth of browning weeds, and I heard Him whisper the word “rotting.”

Emotional neglect happens over time, not overnight. The wife who’s being neglected experiences a recurring message: “you’re less important that my work, less important than my social media, less important than my friends. You make sacrifices for me but you’re not worth my time. Of the two people in this marriage, you are of lesser importance.” All lies!

These repeated insidious lies, if not caught and stopped, can absorb into the soul as self-judgment. From there, this judgment becomes a false belief through which we then filter all other aspects of our life.

To rot: to deteriorate, disintegrate, fall, or become weak due to decay; to languish. (Online dictionary)

I first had to acknowledge the rotting that had occurred in the garden of my heart, forgive, and surrender the outcome. Then I asked the Lord what He wanted to replace those wounds of neglect with. His desires for us are pure and good, and my desire here is to distribute His goodness to other wives enduring a similar experience.

As I continued into the next neighborhood, I couldn’t help staring with admiration at the array of flowers and neatly trimmed hedges and thriving trees. I sensed the Gardener further unfolding His desires through the stark differences between these living images.

In the manicured neighborhood, I walked past a home under construction. The framework was finished, and the ground was dug up where the lawn would eventually be. A low, protective vinyl/plastic fence surrounded the lot to keep people out. On this ‘fence’ was the name of the landscaping company: “such&such Erosion Control.” I laughed out loud at this because erosion control was exactly what I felt the Lord doing in my soul.

When I returned home, I Googled the company, and this is what I read. “Integrity. Quality. Experience…. We focus on catering to each project’s specific needs in order to make the construction process as successful as possible.” Gotta love it when God speaks prophetically. He hides treasures in the least likely places.

“ I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He–the GARDENER–who has begun a good work in you will continue to perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return]” Philippians 1:6 Amplified Version, emphasis mine.

The Father is not simply a good Gardener; He’s in the business of manicuring heart-gardens.

Manicure: to cut and trim meticulously; 1) a detailed paying-attention to (like a nail spa); 2) a manicured lawn with a beauty others will see.

The Yielded Heart
What might the garden of a heart yielded to His hand would look like to outsiders after His manicure job? Detailed trees offering Fruit (of the Spirit) to passersby. Meandering foot paths lit by His truth. Beautiful lilies transplanted from heaven…

“Like a lily among thorns, that is what she is;
        my dear is a captivating beauty among the young women.”
Song of Solomon 2:2 (The Voice)
(Lilies are symbols of purity in the temple of our inner being: Bible note)

He goes over and above, making what was wounded twice as good as it was in the first place.

“Return to a stronghold, you prisoners who have hope;
today I declare that I will restore double to you“ Zechariah 9:12, emphasis mine.

Is the garden of your heart a dry wasteland?
Are you in need of a Gardener?
No job is too big or to small.
He’s eagerly waiting to restore double,
at no cost to you.

Healing of the Embattled Spirit